Day 14 - Our Equivalent to Extraction Day!

We are finally here!

14 days after my cycle started, and if we we're doing an IVF round, this would have been the day that we extracted my eggs and Thomas' swimmers. 

Instead we have 5 beautiful littles just waiting there for us and Thomas and I will be pain free for the next few days.

So, here is what happens this time round with the FET.

I continue on with my baby aspirin.

I continue on with the estrogen every 6 hours, but now I am doing 4 mg every 6 hours instead of the 2 mg, 4 mg, 2 mg, 4 mg cycle I was doing the last 3 days since they increased it on Friday.

I stop the Lupron shot in my stomach.

I start the Progesterone shot in my rear.

I start taking the prednisone pill 3 times a day for the next 5 days. I had forgotten why I take prednisone and it is because it is an anti-inflammatory, but it also suppresses the immune system, which we want so that my body won't attack those littles that we will be transferring in. 

And this means that Saturday is the day! 

Nov14th at 10 am, we will be adventuring in to start our family.

There is no procedure really that I have to do that day other then having a full bladder so that when they insert the catheter to transplant the embryos, they can see where they are putting them. 

My uterine lining looks great measuring 14.02 mm. They wanted over 12mm, so I am right on track!

You can see the lining which looks like lips between the 2 blue little plus signs.

Here are all 4 of my ultrasounds. 2 of the uterus and 1 of each ovary. My ovaries are nice and quiet which is what we want for FETs. 

Prayers:

Again, just that God would give Jeff the wisdom with which ones to thaw out and how many. We have had conversations with him, but we trust him implicitly and can't wait to find out what our number is on Saturday morning! It will be as much of a surprise for us as it will be for you! 

Here's to another Kucera Adventure!

Day 9 and Day 11 Updates

So I have discovered how very different IVF is to a FET. 

There is just not the same crazy excitement of cheering my body on to make those little follicles grow! However, there is a peace about knowing that those 5 little are just hanging out waiting to be loved on! They are as far along as they can be grown out of the womb. 

Day 9

I apologize for not getting this out on wed. Time got away from me.

The ultrasounds went perfect. Charlene told me that my uterus looked beautiful. It was nice and layered and was measuring at 9.32 mm. Eventually I would need to get to 12 mm, but I had plenty of time until next Monday.

Also for my bloodwork, we just needed my number to be above 100 to make sure that my body was absorbing the estrogen that I was taking. She did say that because of how well my uterine lining looked, that she could tell I was absorbing it. 

Well between the half carton of raspberries I have been eating and the cup of pomegranate juice I have been drinking every day it had better be good! 

Well, there is the fact that we also upped my 2 mg pill of estrodial every 12 hours to every 6 hours on Wednesday.

Still doing the 5 units of Lupron every day too!

Day 11

OK, now for today's news.

I went in for the ultrasound and Mary didn't say much, but when she went back to talk to Charlene, apparently the numbers were not matching up with how think my uterine lining was. So I went back in and they re-did the ultrasound. And thank goodness because the second one showed that my lining was nice and thick at 11.62 mm! This means that it is already thick enough and I am good for my transfer a week from sat! Yay!!!

Also I asked about the estrodial number from the bloodwork and It was at 128! So being over 100, I again am good to go for the transfer.

And my estrogen tablet was increased so now every other pill intake time every 6 hours, I have to double the pills to 4 mg. Sorry Thomas if I get crazy!

I have 1 more appointment on Monday and then we will be ready to go!

 This one is for you Suzy!

And finally, I just wanted to give a shout out to this lady.

She was one of my very first friends here in WA, but she is also one of those people who God just lined up to be in my path for this infertility journey that was so needed. Her story has encouraged me in a million ways and I am so thankful for every second I have spent with her and her sweet, sassy spirit. And when you nanny for a woman with a 4 year old, twin 1 year olds, and a 4 month old? You spend a lot of time together. 

Catch you up with the next update on Monday!

Frozen Embryo Transfer Process - And Day 3 - Operation Cinco de Pregneto

The Frozen Embryo Transfer Process

What we are just starting! 

• Start 10 units Lupron about a week before your cycle is supposed to start. Continue on with daily prenatal vitamin.
• Day 1 of your cycle, decrease to 5 units of Lupron and call and make an appointment for day 3.
• Day 3 go in to check and make sure your uterine lining is looking good. Also start taking estrogen every 12 hours. And start taking a baby asprin
• Days 4-8 just keep on the nightly shot and twice daily pills.
• Day 9 continue shot, but increase estrogen pills to every 6 hours. Also go in for an appointment and blood work. 

 And let me tell you. Choose your times wisely with the every 6 hours! It is painful for me since I get an average of 8.5 hours of sleep every night! I guess it is just a preview of what we will get 9 months from now.

• Day 11 continue shot, but double the dosage of 2 of the 4 pill times.
• Day 14 is equivalent to extraction day for Thomas and I's IVF experience. At this point I switch from Lupron shots to Progesterone shots, continue with the pills every 6 hours, but I will increase all 4 of the times to the double dose. We will also add in the prednisone.
• We then transfer the wee ones most likely 5 days after "extraction day", which will be day 19.
• Then we wait!
• And 14 days later do the pregnancy test via blood draw.

Can't wait to see what God has in store for us this round or how many of those 5 littles we will actually implant.

Our littles arrived in WA last Tuesday (Oct 27th)!

Day 3 - Today

With today being day 3, I went into my appointment and everything look wonderful. So now I just wait. Oh, and start the estrogen every 12 hours. And a daily aspirin.
My estrodial level today is at 31.

And of course I looked up from other FET cycles to see what they did. And since we want my uterine lining to be nice and thick, after lots of research I have decided to follow this ladies advice. Because really, it can't hurt! And who doesn't like fresh raspberries daily?
http://chroniclesofanadoption.blogspot.com/2014/04/getting-everything-ready.html?m=0

Here is our schedule.

Day 3 - Oct 29th, Ultrasound, blood draw, start estrogen tablets every 12 hours
Day 9 - Nov 4th, Ultrasound, blood draw, increase estrogen tablets to every 6 hours
Day 11 - Nov 6, Ultrasound, possible blood draw, double the dosage every other pill time
Day 14 - Nov 9, Ultrasound, "Extraction Day", double the dosage on every 6 hour increment
Day 19 - Nov 14th (most likely), TRANSFER DAY!
15 days later will be the pregnancy test.

I will be posting these days, but it won't be every day like with IVF cycles. These FET cycles just aren't as riveting daily. :)

Also, did you know that babies cells stay in the mom and mom's cells also cross to the baby? 

Here is a fascinating article talking more about it.

Looks like this kid will get a part of me!

Prayers
I think our biggest prayers right now are:
First that my uterine lining will be perfect. It always has been every other round, but that is the only thing that can make this round not happen.

And second would be that of the 5 littles that we will be thawing out and implanting, that God will give Jeff, our embryologist, wisdom with which specific embryos to thaw and how many. We of course are leaning towards 2, but there is always the possibility that they will not be viable (if their little cells don't keep multiplying after thawing, that means they are not viable) that he will thaw out additional ones. So I just want to pray that God guides his hands in the process.

Starting the Shots TODAY!

Leading up to our little Bali vacation, I was working my tail off with a few people to make this Embryo adoption and the Frozen Embryo Transfer happen. 

I sat down with Charlene on the Sunday (the 4th) before I left, to walk through the schedule. As it turns out, everything lined up for us to possibly start the day we got back!

So we flew in on Sunday night, had an appointment on Monday morning at 8 am to do an ultrasound. This was rule out any cysts on my ovaries.
And I was cleared!

Fast forward to why I am just now writing this today, 3 days later.

Well, when I walked into the Gyft Clinic on Monday morning, one of the first things I had asked, was if the embryos had been shipped from their cozy little home in Utah, to Washington.

NOPE.

Dang.

So after lots of emails, phone calls, and everyone pulling together for us once again (God really has placed the very best people in my life), I finally got the go ahead email today!

Our little buddies are going to be shipped up here next week, and I get my very first shot today!

I will write tomorrow about the whole process and how different it looks from the IVF process.

But as for tonight, I get to start Lupron. 

Thomas gets to give me shots every day.

And we start this whole embryo adoption/transfer thing.

Thank you Jesus for your goodness to us!

You awe and humble me like no one else.

Steps for Embryo Adoption

Over the past couple of weeks after deciding to do embryo adoption, we have been working hard to make it happen, but I haven't wanted to bore you with the daily details.
 If I had, my posts would have looked like:
Talked to the nurse today.
Talked to the lawyer today.
Forwarded an email today.

 And you all don't need that. And really, it has been lots of logistics, but there are also lots of emotions that happen as well. Such a process!

And this was a beautiful reminder for me.
No matter what, I am His.
And for that I am so thankful!

So the emotional part really hit me, when my friend asked me about hosting a Noonday party, because Noonday Collection is partnering with AdoptTogether to help adopting families bring their children home.
Whoa. I am adopting. Let that sink in.

And while that is sinking in, lets talk about the logistics of getting the beautiful embryos into the state of WA, to the Gyft clinic, into my belly, and ultimately into our arms.


First off, there are a few different ways that you can adopt just like in traditional adoption. For embryo adoption there is the possibility via clinic (like an anonymous donation), via agency (requiring a homestudy) or private (which includes a lawyer) versus international/domestic (although I guess technically it could be.....) although not foster adoption. I don't even know how foster adoption would work, although, maybe that is what surrogacy is? I digress. Onward.

We have been blessed with being able to go through a private adoption. The story is incredibly beautiful and makes me tear up every time I think about it, even now. But because of that, we want to keep a few things out of the lime light. Some day we may share this incredible story, but until then just know there is an incredible family that God worked in their hearts to make this happen. And I am so very thankful for them for giving us this gift.

 

I love all of these truths. And although I don't see anything bad about our story, in fact I love every second of it, I do know that some people would think there are bad parts. And because of that, the best things will come out of it.


Now for the details.
There are a few things that have to happen to get these 5 little buddies over into our hands.

1. All 4 of us adults have to get STD tested. 

Both the Embryo Donor's and the Embryo Adopters.
There just has to be knowledge that if there is an STD that could be transferred, that everyone is aware.

2. The information from the clinic where the embryos were made as well as where they were stored, about the embryos has to be passed onto the Gyft clinic who will be making the transfer.

The Embryo Report needs to include how many cells each embryo had when frozen and what the quality of each cell was.

3. A lawyer has to be contacted to create the Embryo Transfer Contract between the Embryo Donors and the Embryo Adopters.

This has to be signed and notarized by both parties.

4. The embryos have to be transferred from their current nursery to their future nursery at the Gyft clinic where they will be transferred to me eventually.

All this to say, the process leading up to the shots, unlike IVF which is essentially doing tests on my body to see where it is at, this process requires an incredible coordinating dance with everyone.

Once all of this is coordinated, the next step is Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). This will now be our new favorite acronym after IVF. If we had additional embryos after any of our IVF rounds, we would have already walked this process. But now we get to walk it hand in hand with embryo adoption. And I cannot wait!
He makes all thing beautiful in His perfect timing. Even the invention of our tiny little toes. In a crazy story we never could have imagined, but is so very perfect.

We will keep working through everything, waiting to see if this FET will happen at the end of this month (October) into the beginning of November.


So keep praying for:

1. His perfect timing for the FET.
2. Smooth paperwork processes.
3. Both the embryo donor's hearts and our hearts as we work through this new adventure.

 The next update will be whether or not we are starting the FET at 3-4 weeks!
Eeeeekkkk!!!!

After Round 4 - What's Next!

The past few weeks have just flown by! I cannot believe it has been almost 2 months!

And at the same time, it has been full of prayer and lots of discussions about what's next.

EMBRYO ADOPTION
is what is next my friends.
 

I know embryo adoption is not widely understood, but basically it is this. Someone went through IVF at a different time and was able to freeze their embryos that made it to the Day 5 Blastocyst stage. For what ever reason, they feel as though their family is complete and now we get the blessing of adopting those little embryos. When Thomas and I are ready, we will implant those little guys in my uterus and then similarly to IVF, if they stick, we will be pregnant and have some littles!

We have no idea what that will look like or what the time frame will be, but we are shooting for an end of October/beginning of November time frame. But clearly since this is a new process, it could look differently then what we think it will be.

Not to mention God clearly has our life on a time frame we could never come up with on our own.

So pray! For wisdom, continued peace, for our future embryos, for all people involved including the current parents of the embryos God has for us, and that God would continue to walk hand in hand with us as we start on this new type of IVF adventure.

I will be walking you through what this new routine looks like.


All that being said, it may be a little while until you hear from us again
Like end of October time frame.

Just FYI. You know since I have been so present these last 2 months.

Meanwhile, I would absolutely love to hear your stories about if you have gone through adoption of any type. I want to know the details and the questions you have had. I know embryo adoption is a little different and not very understood, but it is still adoption. And I still want to soak up all your wisdom. So please share with me!

Until then. Enjoy the end of summer and beginning of fall!

Clinging to Our Hope in the Brokenness

The day after we found out Round 4 didn't work, a friend asked me if I would write a post on brokenness as a guest blogger for her blog Cypress and Fern

So I did.
And for those of you who didn't read it there, you can read it here.

Brokenness is....

....sitting in church on Sunday morning, surrounded by godly women who love you, two days after you found out round 4 of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) did not work, holding a 10 week old twin baby girl Emma, the day before it was the due date of the twins I miscarried, silently sobbing while singing,

Over the past 4 years my husband and I have walked the infertility road, and the time of most brokenness has definitely been over the last year as we have gone through 4 rounds of IVF. In each round, brokenness looked very different.

Round 1, the thought never crossed my mind that it wouldn't work for us. And I was devastated when it didn't. Oh so broken. And in the broken He reminded me that it was OK and to cling to Him. That is where He wanted me.

Then Round 2, we got those precious words, "You are pregnant!" It was absolutely a beautiful and weird time. After 3 years and we were pregnant. I didn't know how to react other then pure confused joy. Well 2 weeks later we found out we were having identical twins. But it was overshadowed because I had started to bleed the day before which really freaked us out. A week later when they told us that one and then both of them stopped breathing, it deflated us. And there we were again. In the brokenness. And once again He held on to us as we walked through both the physical and emotional process of  losing what we wanted so badly. But in the brokenness, He reminded us that we have hope. We now know we can get pregnant!

So we excitedly jumped into Round 3. During my first days of bed rest after the procedure to implant those little embryos, fear hit me full force. I had no idea if I could survive finding out that another round did not work. As I was sitting there, Jesus gently reminded me through my bible study, that He had me. That there was nothing to fear. That He would walk with me in the depths of fear and brokenness and that if I would just abide, be still, and cling to him that I would be at complete peace.

After Round 3 did not work and we decided to go forth on Round 4, the brokenness came once again when we heard those dreaded words, "Not pregnant." There is something so terribly hard about all the hope being dashed in seconds. And yet such peace knowing that we can cling to His promises. And I definitely clung to this verse as a reminder. Ephesians 3:20 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us."

And days later, we still have no idea what we are going to do next or where God will lead us in our adventure, but I do know this. That I would not trade a second of our story. I would not do any of this time over again. The depth of my relationship with my Abba, with my husband, with my family, and my friends has been deepened. And God has used our brokenness time and time again. God being able to shine through our brokenness is the beauty of believing.

My favorite part of brokenness is that it is not just about being in the pit and in the hard. Brokenness is allowing our Abba Father to give us the hope, and the peace, and the beautiful joy that comes with giving everything to Him. With allowing Him to walk with us and love on us in the brokenness.

And although brokenness is bawling in bed later that Sunday night, it is also laying there with your raw heart being offered to our Lord, and feeling like you are wrapped in the comfort of our Abba Father's arms, in the biggest bear hug you could ever imagine filled with the peace, hope, and sweet joy that can only come from Him being with you in the brokenness.